Student Spotlight: Henry Pittman
Interviewer: Bret Guepet
Year: 3L
Section: 3 (no one cares anymore)
Relationship Status: Taken
Hometown: Metairie (He tried to say New Orleans but I called him out)
Undergrad Major: Political Science (useless)
It was a fantastically humid Friday afternoon. I parked my vehicle at the Law Center, and began my stroll to the Chimes Restaurant around the corner. About halfway there, a black Jeep blew by me heading in the same direction. The driver was a golden-topped young man with a pair of round, harry-potter-esque glasses. Turns out, it was the man I was heading to interview: Henraldo Pittfire (Henry Pittman for short). He suggested we sit at the bar; I obliged. The following interview was the product of soggy french fries and half a beer.
Q: I just got a haircut before I came to interview you. Did you notice?
A: Really? It looks great.
Q: You’ll be a good lawyer. How does it feel to be in your final year of law school?
A: Pretty good, dude. Taking a lot of easy classes. Some tough classes. Feels pretty good, dude.
Q: To build on that, what’s your all-time favorite smell?
A: I like when I get my car washed and they put that little vanilla wafer in there.
Q: I have no idea what you’re talking about. If you had to go on America’s Got Talent, and your life depended on making it to the next round, what sort of act would you put on?
A: I’m like a really good singer.
Q: What would you sing?
A: What’s that..uh..I’ve been working on “These Eyes” by Guess Who [sings a little snippet for me]
Q: Changing directions – I notice you’ve got a small gold hoop earring. Taking the criminal defense route?
A: Yes. I feel like I can really relate to my clients with this look. That’s why I got it in Cozumel.
Q: Might want to snag a tetanus shot. You’re dating someone in law school, correct?
A: Yeah. Going pretty well. She gives me all of her notes and stuff, so.
Q: I would never do that… She’s definitely smarter than you are, right?
A: Yeah, way smarter.
Q: Has anyone ever told you that you look like the child of Macaulay Culkin and Haley Joel Osment?
A: No, but I’ve gotten Elton John a few times. It’s really offensive though…all of them.
Q: So there’s some talk about you stealing Johnston Burkhardt’s look. Would you like to comment on that?
A: Yeah it’s like Johnston, then me, then Jeff Brooks all rocking that look. Have people really been talking about that?
Q: Moving on. Would you rather smell a fart at all times that no one else smelled, or smell like a fart at all times that you can’t smell?
A: Oh dude, smell a fart at all times. I don’t want to smell like a fart.
Q: Gross. Finally, do you have any really good bad advice for the 1L’s?
A: Only use your absences on Fridays so that you can go to Earl’s on Thursdays. Also, don’t even worry about OCIs because you’re going to want to go to France this summer. Jobs are not that important.