By: Patrick Schmidt
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So call me insane or Anthony Weiner or whatever you like because that’s exactly what this article will be this year. While you may not be getting indecent pictures from me, at least in this article, you will be gaining an insight into what makes some of PMH’s legends tick. First up is “Macho Man” Kris Thompson.
Classification: 3L
Section: 2
Hometown: Slidell
Status: In a relationship
Q: As a 3L, what advice would you give a 1L/2L?
A: Don’t waste your money signing up for the chess tournament this fall. I will dominate…again.
Q: What are you most looking forward to in your 3L year?
A: Playing Pokemon Go all over campus. Did you know the law school has two pokestops?
Q: What was your biggest regret in law school?
A: I regret not postponing my legal education until the lazy river at the UREC is complete.
Q: What is the most memorable thing to happen to you/that you’ve witnessed at PMH?
A: December 10, 2016 #booganation goes wild as Leonard is awarded the Heisman trophy.
Q: What was most memorable about growing up in Slidell?
A: Wife beater undershirts and jeanco jeans.
Q: I know you’re a big wrestling fan. What attracted you to the WWE?
A: Listen here you Jabroni, it’s still the WWF to me.
Q: Who is your favorite wrestler and why?
A: Stone Cold Steve Austin. Middle finger to your opponent, stone cold stunner, beer drinking…in that order.
Q: What would you be known for if you were a wrestler?
A: Something of a cross between the Godfather and Chyna.
Q: You won the inaugural law school chess tournament. How did you get into chess?
A: I guess I kinda got into chess as a means of a way off the mean streets of Slidell.
Q: Where’s your favorite place to go in Baton Rouge?
A: The Belle of Baton Rouge. Free Drinks. Free money.
Q: So is that your favorite casino in Baton Rouge?
A: I like to hit on a hard 17 so…I’d have to say Reggie’s.
Q: You had a glorious beard 1L year? Will that ever be making a return?
A: Is lumberjack law a thing? If so, yes.
Q: What is your biggest pet peeve?
A: Those cheesy songs they play to pump up the crowd at basketball games…everybody clap your hands.
Q: What do you look for in a lady friend?
A: A lady that doesn’t mind how terrible of a boyfriend I am.
Q: Is it true, if you don’t use it, you lose it?
A: I once failed to use all my allowable absences in a class. Needless to say, I’ve yet to find it.
Q: What is your ideal job?
A: 3rd string NFL QB…the only job where you’re expected to be completely incompetent and eat hot dogs during working hours.
Q: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
A: As the sole heir to the Benson empire. As such, I would give Mickey Loomis his walking papers, ensuring sustained success for the Saints and Pelicans franchises.