Trials & Tribulations: Advice for Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

The Final(s) Days: How to Survive the Law-pocalypse

  1. Be ready: The apocalypse never creeps up on its victims. Have a pack prepared so that you can be ready to take action at a moment’s notice.
  2. Stock up: Hoard Expo markers like they’re gold–because they are. You never know when you will chance upon an empty classroom to take shelter in, and chances are it will have been cleared out by another group of survivors. Try to keep highlighters and legal pads on hand, too.
  3. Beware the walkers: You will see them around the law school, but don’t disturb them. You’ll recognize a zombie by their dead stare, pale skin (bleached by hours of cheap fluorescent lighting in the library), and shambling gait. If you stay out of their way, you won’t be in danger.
  4. Safety in numbers: Find a group of people with a unique and differing skill set. You will need each other if you want to survive–more people will help you outnumber the walkers, and if each of you have different specialties, it will be easier to stay alive.
  5. Rest when you can: You never know when you will have a good night’s sleep in a proper bed. Take micro-naps on the floor of empty classrooms; barricade yourself in your car in the parking lot; sleep on the couch of friends who live near the law center.
  6. Eat what you can find: Abandoned granola bars buried at the bottom of your locker will suddenly become Michelin five star dining. Eat what you can get your hands on whenever you get your hands on it. Outrunning the walkers will keep your schedule irregular, so yes, it is normal to eat cold Chinese food at three AM.
  7. Watch for infection: Symptoms will start to manifest rapidly. If you notice that someone in your group has become irritable or their eyes have started to glaze over, be wary. After that, it won’t be long until the virus takes hold. After the initial symptoms, the person who was once your friend will start to shamble down the halls, will lose the power of coherent speech, and will no longer be recognizable. At the first sign of infection, distance yourself from that person so that you don’t share their fate.


Baton Rouge Beaming, Buc-ee’s Bequeathed Unto Us

By: Annie Beckstrom

The latest developments in gas station construction often fail to register on the social radar of millennials in Baton Rouge. Rumors of a new Race-Trac don’t exactly get people out of bed in the morning. But what if I told you Baton Rouge would soon be home to a magical place where one can pump gas, eat freshly made brisket, sausage, and pulled pork, choose between dozens of flavors of beef jerky, drink exotic flavored Icees, peruse the offerings of kolache and Dip n’ Dots stations, and use the cleanest restroom known to man? Many would say this sounds like a pipe dream. Anyone who has wandered into a Circle K after the bar and tried to consume a hot dog knows that gas station food is borderline edible at best. However, PMH students have confirmed that Texas based convenience store, Buc-ee’s, truly is the Holy Grail.


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